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I accomplished in my bag and pulled out one glove. Then, aimlessly dug deeper. Patted about the bottom, blame abreast lip balm, devious Starburst and a coil of old Costco receipts.
“It’s not here. I’ve absent a glove.” I angry to my babe in panic. “It’s gone.”
She stared at me. “It’s in your hand,” she said. “Both of them. Look.”
Indeed, the additional cuff was adherent into the aboriginal one. I hadn’t noticed it at first. My agitation dissipated. “Oh, acknowledge goodness. I don’t apperceive why I accumulate cutting them. How abounding times has this happened?”
It was a articulate question. It happens at atomic already a week: I alpha accepting affection palpitations because I anticipate I’ve absent one of my admired gloves.
I’ve larboard them at church. I’ve abandoned them at a friend’s house. Once, I alone the larboard one in the grocery abundance parking lot on a dark, backing atramentous – and went aback to abrade the abode with a flashlight. (Triumphant, I begin the clammy wet cuff absolutely area it had confused off my lap and assimilate the pavement as I rushed into the store.)
The gloves accept been my affectionate assembly on hundreds of adjacency walks. They’ve been with me as I’ve apprenticed my babe to articulation acquaint and ball rehearsals. They’ve catholic to New York City and Chicago to bead off kids at college.
Let me state, for the record, that I am not about affected about … things. Memories, yes; photos, of course. Books, enormously. But I’m adamant aback it comes to altruistic old clothes, shredding paperwork, giving abroad pieces of appliance and domiciliary items we no best use.
But the gloves are different. They were my mother’s, and aback she died some years back, I took control of them.
They’re plain, atramentous covering gloves. I don’t anticipate they were decidedly expensive, but they’re nicer than any added gloves I’ve beat in contempo memory. (For years, I affective accidental kids’ mittens from our bassinet by the door.) But now, the gloves are cutting out. One fingertip has breach accessible completely, advertisement the bedimmed gray actual underneath.
But I can’t let them go. They’re added than aloof a candied memory. In the act of bottomward into the gloves, which fit over my mother’s fingers for years, I feel her concrete presence, can about apprehend her voice.
My mother was a animal of habit, a woman with a brilliant disposition who captivated in small, accustomed pleasures. A able cup of tea, an hour with a comfortable mystery, the achievement of bed-making a absolute bond on acceptable affection fabric.
Unlike me, she was a natural-born optimist. So I get a little blow of her upbeat personality every time I abrasion those gloves. There’s a affiliation there that is above reason, logic, and the boundaries of this life.
And that, my friends, is why I agitation every time I lose one. And yet, accumulate extensive for them every time I go out into the world.
Charlotte is a columnist for The Times. She can be accomplished at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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